God is good all the time. All the time God is good.
This past year has been rough, tough, and full of emotions. I graduated this time last year from undergraduate, left the city I called home for 4 years, and moved back home with my parents. Change is good, but a lot of change at one time can be absolutely debilitating. I went from being able to make my own schedule at school to living under my parents’ roof and following their rules. Not to say that they set difficult rules to abide by (I don’t have to be told to go to bed early, I’m already a grandma when it comes to that). But it is a hard change being separated from your once constant community.
Last summer I was looking for a job in the medical field to help me gain hands-on experience to prep for PA school. I eventually found a job medical scribing in the ER which I did for 6 long, hard months. Overnights and overtime got the better of me, so I put in my resignation. It was the right decision for my spiritual life and overall health. Little did I know the Lord had a plan for me even if I didn’t see it at the time.
During my downtime after quitting, I felt utterly lost and confused. I was bored. I was lonely. I was ready for the next step but not yet certain of what the next step was. I applied for jobs and volunteer positions that were dead ends. Everything I pursued was a door slammed shut. Not just closed, but actually shut in my face. Something inside of me kept saying wait. The world says get back into the hustle, but my spirit said rest and be patient. So I eventually stopped applying for jobs and just let life happen.
Photos courtesy of @doorsofdistinction Instagram
I visited friends. I went on road trips to Birmingham, Chattanooga, and Atlanta. I helped my grandparents drive to and from SC and TN. I worked on my blog. I rested. I read. I exercised. I prayed. I focused on what matters most to me and chose to love God even if not.
Then upon visiting my grandparents in Chattanooga in April, my mom suggested we go visit a PA program in Knoxville and see their campus since we were already in the area. I didn’t question her for a second. I immediately set up an appointment for the following day to tour the campus and talk with their admission’s personnel.
I got to campus the next day, had an informative tour of the campus and classrooms, and grabbed my things in preparation to leave. But then the admissions coordinator asked me if I would like to speak with the Dean and have him look over my application while I was there. Without hesitating, I said yes and was beaming the whole way to his office. I was going to have the Dean of this program look at me, myself, and I and tell me how I looked on paper. Not only was this an incredible opportunity, it turned out to be one of the most affirming meetings I think I have ever had in my life. I was encouraged by what I had done up until this point and told that I would be a great candidate for an interview this year. All my doubts of whether or not I was doing the right things and getting the right experience were gone. I was on the path God had created especially for me, and He was preparing the way for me every step of the way. Two days later I was invited for an in-person interview in May.
That interview then turned into an acceptance! Yes, I am going to PA school and will be graduating in the class of 2018. Every step of this crazy, beautiful process has been God-ordained. He called me to deeper trust in His plan. He provided for me through every tear-filled job refusal. He paved the way for me to see that I couldn’t have done any of this by my own accord, only He could have made this happen. I am utterly GRATEFUL that He sought to teach me this before I head into one of the most challenging times in my life and education. I cannot do any of this alone. Every tragedy and triumph of this journey are marked by His fingerprints. God is sovereign and He who began a good work in me will see it through until the end! Do not give up hope in yourself or your God because He is constantly working all things for your good and His greater glory.
Whatever you are struggling through, trust in Him today. It may not be easy, it may not turn out exactly as you had planned, but you can bet that it is going to turn out bringing God all the glory.
My open door finally happened and although I had to wait a while for it, I know…
it wasn’t because of what I did
but rather what God was doing in me.