Why I Chose to Stop Calorie Counting

I’ve shared a few times on other social media platforms about my journey with calorie counting. Truthfully, I didn’t expect to get the response that I did previously. I had quite a few people reach out to me confirming that they too have struggled with calorie counting, macro-counting, or obsessive dieting in the past causing them to have an unhealthy relationship with food. About 10 years ago, I was using a very popular dieting app with the intention of helping me to understand what I was consuming and to be more mindful of what I ate. It started with sincere intentions, but ended by wrecking havoc on my personal relationship with food and my body image. Now I am not sharing this story for sympathy, because honestly, I am in a place now where I can enjoy all kinds of food without feeling guilt surrounding my decisions. But I’m sharing my personal journey to shed light on a really important topic: destructive dieting.

All too often, dieting starts with sincere intentions. Whether the goal is to be a healthy weight, to feel more energy, to improve your cholesterol, or to feel more confidence in your own skin. But for those you already struggle with control (where are my type-A personalities at?!?), dieting can lead to disastrous consequences for your mental and physical health. Now for some, calorie counting can be very beneficial and not lead to destructive tendencies. For example: if you are far exceeding the daily recommended amount of calories for maintaining your weight, then calorie counting could provide you with some perspective. However, that was not my personal experience.

I have plenty of friends and family members who can do macro-counting, Whole30, paleo, etc., and still have a healthy relationship with their body and food. However, I am not that person. I think it is important to remember that what is good for you may not always be what is good for your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or family member. Our bodies and chemistries are all vastly different. Our personal struggles vary. But from personal experience, calorie counting led to noxious behaviors while I was in college.

**Please note: if you have ever experienced an eating disorder or are in recovery from an eating disorder, these next few paragraphs may be graphic for you to read.**

If I ate too much that day, I would be forced to go to the gym to cause a calorie deficit. If I knew where I was going out to eat that day, I’d scour the menu ahead of time to find the item with the least amount of calories. My dietary decisions were a direct reflection of my daily calorie goal. I wouldn’t go to the cafeteria for dinner if I knew that I’d far exceed my calorie goal. So I’d stay in my dorm room and eat half an english muffin or some cereal. Truly, it became so unhealthy that there were even times I tried to make myself vomit after eating a rich meal. Thankfully my body would not allow me to vomit on demand, and I praise God that I never had to go down the treacherous road of bulimia. I can’t remember when exactly I came to the realization that my relationship with food needed to change. There was never a defining or aha moment. However I do know that the app that was ruining my relationship with my body and food had to go.

For me, my need to calorie count was heavily rooted in control. I was a Junior and Senior in college, some of the most stressful years in my college career. I was battling intense anxiety and actively pursuing PA school. I felt like I was drowning in school work, so I found a way to control my circumstances. You too may find that when life gets hectic and chaotic, destructive dieting is a means of exerting some type of control. Maybe you overexercise, binge eat, or binge drink. All of these behaviors help us exert a false sense of control. Rather than turning to our weak selves to control our present circumstances, we should be turning to Christ. Being human is not for the faint of heart. We are broken people trying to make sense of this broken world. But God alone knows the weight of our earthy struggles and promises to walk with us through them. So whatever you are currently walking through that seems insurmountable, take heart because Christ wants to walk with you through it to the other side of healing and restoration.

But if you are struggling with an eating disorder of any kind, please contact the National Eating Disorders Helpline at (800) 931-2237 or text “NEDA” to 741741 for immediate support.

You are NOT weak for seeking help. You are strong and brave for wanting to be in a better relationship with your body. Whether that is through counseling or medications, you deserve to have a healthy relationship with your body and with food. Your diet should supplement your lifestyle, it should never impede you from living life to the full. Please Note: obviously those with specific dietary restrictions due to food allergies or pre-existing health conditions are excluded from these statements.

We need to normalize body positivity. We need to celebrate a work in progress. We need to turn to Christ when we are deep in the valleys of this world. We should celebrate our bodies even if we are actively working on a healthier version of ourself. And if your present diet is destructive to your mental health, then it is not serving you or your physical health.