Aging with Grace

The older I get, the more I hate telling people my age.

It’s not like I’m middle-age or anything, it’s just sometimes I feel like people are judging me when I tell them my age. Like I haven’t done enough in my 32 years or they’re surprised I’m that old because I act younger. Whatever the case, the older I get, the more I’ve come to realize age is truly a number. Your age is what you make of it.

As a Physician Assistant in Primary Care, I care for patients between the ages of 15-100+. I see firsthand the difference between someone who is aging like a fine wine and someone who “appears older than stated age”. Gone are the days of generational ideals of how someone should live, dress, and act. Senescence has become an art. People are defying time by appearing ageless through aesthetics and plastics. But what does that say about our society? We would rather appear younger than grow old with grace. We would rather get mistaken to be 10 years younger than dare to look our actual age. When did we get so fearful to get old?

I fight against this fear often. Ever since my late 20s, I’ve hated getting older. Birthdays are supposed to be fun celebrations of your life and legacy, but they also hold a weightiness to them. Birthdays make me get introspective about my accomplishments and goals. I wonder whether I’ve done enough with the life I’ve been handed.

Have I made enough of a difference?
Have I accomplished enough of what I’d hoped?
Have I met my own personal goals?
Am I where I thought I would be at this age?

Ultimately, these are all well and good questions to ask, but my accomplishments should not be a barometer for my happiness or gratitude. At 18, I’m sure I thought I’d have at least two kids by the age of 30. And here I am at 32, a wife, a Physician Assistant, and a mom of a very humanlike goldendoodle. And I’m proud of that! My 30s don’t look at all how I had planned at 18, but isn’t that the glorious mystery of God’s plans for us. Our lives can’t be manipulated and orchestrated, because we’ve never been the ones in control. We live and move through God’s timing. He makes all things beautiful in HIS time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). So why not age with grace and gratitude? Rather than bemoaning time, let’s embrace it with joy and thankfulness. Let’s choose to live in humble adoration of this gift of time that we’ve been given.

But here’s the kicker: how can we practically choose to age with grace and gratitude?

By verbalizing our gratitude of time.
By being good stewards of our bodies through healthy lifestyle choices.
By choosing not to bemoan signs of aging but rather embracing them as evidence of our time here on earth.

The act of getting old isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes resilience and gumption. But aging also shouldn’t be considered a punishment, it’s a privilege.