23

Birthdays get me sentimental.

I start thinking back to what I did over the past year, what in my life changed, where I traveled, how I’ve grown, and also how the Lord has shaped me during the past 12 months. 365 days can feel both like an eternity at times while also flying by faster than a Nascar driver at Talladega. This time last year I was fretfully planning for post-grad. Carefully conforming my world to my meticulously thought out plans and often leaving God out of the picture. I like to think that all the while I was prayerfully considering what my future held. But in reality, I believe I just desperately wanted a job. I applied for scribe positions soon after graduation, received interviews, and eventually settled with a company that I was excited to work with. After 6 months of tireless work involving overtime, overnights, and being overworked, I handed in my resignation for the sake of my health and overall state of mind. My whole being was exhausted, and the idea of resigning felt like the final act of surrender to God’s will. I gained invaluable experience in the healthcare field that I will forever treasure, but God was calling me to find rest. Deep satisfying rest that only He could provide. 

That is a lesson I have been struggling through over the past few months since I resigned: finding rest in Him alone while also seeking my identity in Him alone. My job is not where my worth lies. My occupation is not going to give me lasting satisfaction. When you realize that Christ alone is the one and only person who can fulfill that mighty task of satisfaction, your world is rocked. 180 degree turn for the better. I have experienced more joy and happiness these past few months of unemployment than I did during employment.

My worth isn’t found in WHAT I do,
but rather in WHO I do it for.

So whether you’re feeling stuck in a thankless job or living amidst the uncertainty of what tomorrow brings, cling to the hope that Christ alone is all you really need. Your money, job, possessions, and social status won’t make you happy long-term. But seeking after a lavish and merciful God whose ultimate goal is to transform you into a more loving child of His, that pursuit provides deep, abounding satisfaction. 

In year 23, my hope is to live amidst the uncertainties of life with hope and joy. Rather than allowing them to consume my thoughts, I choose to focus my attention on Christ, the author and perfecter of my life’s story. We are all living amidst uncertainties in life. Whether you’re waiting for a yes instead of a no, or hoping for positive test results. Maybe you’re struggling through a broken relationship, or praying for a more satisfying job. Or you know what your heart desires, but God hasn’t answered that prayer just yet. We each carry burdens of uncertainty that weigh on our hearts, but those burdens shouldn’t be carried alone. Confide in those around you. Seek counsel at the foot of the cross. Life was never meant to be lived solo.

Life is hard, but God is good.

Here are a few of my favorite snapshots form year 22…

Graduation from Samford University in May 2015
July 4th in Denver, CO
Labor Day in NYC
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and sweet friend reunions