I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I feel like WEARY is my middle name. The past few months I’ve been putting in 50 hour work weeks and multiple night shifts in a row on the regular. All I have to show for it are bags under my eyes, severe breakouts, and a pale complexion. My exhaustion is at an all-time high. I need rest. The Lord is calling me to rest.
Due to various circumstances, I resigned from my job working as a medical scribe. For months, I’ve been putting off being a regular church-goer. For months, I’ve been avoiding regular quiet times meditating over God’s word. For months, my spiritual life has been put on the back burner. This new and welcome change feels like a loving nudge from God saying, “Follow me. Be courageous in me. Surrender to me. Rest in me.”
Throughout these past few months, the imagery of doors keeps popping up. I love the illustration of life being a series of doors with the Lord being the ultimate door of salvation. During this year’s Lenten study by SheReadsTruth, one of the recent devotions was entitled “I Am the Door of the Sheep”. Like whoa, talk about a God moment! After having that image repeated over and over again and praying for open and closed doors during interviews and discernment, then I am reminded that God is the ultimate door leading to abundant life in Him. Life is full of doors that lead to trials, upsets, blessings, and victories, but God calls us to walk through His door when we enter into his fold. This door boasts “unmerited forgiveness, eternal peace, and lavish love”. Now who doesn’t want that?!?
So, what am I going to do in the mean time? I have no idea. Do I have a second job lined up? No. Have I lost my mind? By the world’s standards, probably. But the sense of relief and peace that came from resigning could only be from the Lord. During this next chapter, God has something great planned, something far beyond what I could hope, something more perfect than anything I could dream up, something that only He could have created. I am still planning to apply for PA school this year. I am still passionate about the healthcare field and know in my heart that that is where the Lord is tugging on my heart to serve. However, my faith is being tested during this time period of waiting. Much like my namesake, Sarah, who in Genesis struggled with the concept of waiting for her heart’s desire to come to fruition, so much so that her disbelief stood in the way of her relationship with God. I need to remind myself that during the waiting, God is renewing, transforming, shaping, and sanctifying my heart. All He asks is for my obedience in faith.
God is SOVEREIGN
My prayer in this time of patience and clarity is that the Lord will show me a clear vision of what he desires for me to do. Whether it’s finding another job in the medical field, traveling to another context, taking classes, nannying, or continuing to deepen my involvement in my food blog. Whatever the case, I pray for clarity. And if you are reading this now and feel even the slightest bit of anxiety or uncertainty about your own future, take heart and turn to these verses for strength and encouragement. They are some of my all-time favorites for seeking strength when the going gets tough. God is in control, even if your world feels off kilter. ESPECIALLY when your world feels off kilter. He is actively working on your behalf for your good and His greater glory. Always.